The other morning while reviewing one of my Twitter feeds, I was shocked to come across another apparent suicide. There was footage of a young man plunging to his death in the Holy city of Mecca. Earlier in the week, there were two other, noteworthy suicides. On Tuesday, June 5, 2018, Kate Spade, the renowned handbag designer and later in the week on Friday, June 8, 2018, Anthony Bourdain, noteworthy internationally traveled chef, were reported to have hung themselves. Both suffered from depression.
I recall reading a New York Times article, earlier this year about a group of Native American young men having to deal with a similar adversity.
Almost nine years ago, I made an attempt on my own life but fortunately, I was unsuccessful! It was toward the end of 2009. I was recovering from a stroke and in the midst of a nasty divorce court battle. I had just returned from a court episode, was at work and strangely began researching ways to take my life.
I could have jumped out a window. I could have stepped into oncoming traffic or in front of a train. I could have slit my wrists… These were all too messy for me to attempt.
I also thought about hanging myself. A friend had done this several years prior but I did not seek to end it, so to speak, that way!
I decided on an overdose of some pills that had been prescribed to me. Research had shown that there was a fatal quantify that could be ingested. I simply consumed the entire bottle, left a note concerning the problems I had been enduring and how there seemed to be no credible solution.
As a backup plan, I also taped a plastic bag over my head. I reclined on my bed with the intention of never waking up and drifted into sleep, hoping to never wake up ever again…
Several hours later, I awakened and reflexively ripped the plastic bag off my head. Alhamdulillah!
What was I thinking to perform such an act?
It had to have been the most selfish thing I had done in my entire life!!!
I overlooked my children, other family members and the friends who loved me. They form a major support group for me to this day.
According to the National Institute for Mental Health (NIMH), Suicide is a Leading Cause of Death in the United States.
- Suicide was the tenth leading cause of death overall in the United States, claiming the lives of nearly 45,000 people in recent years.
- Suicide was the second leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 10 and 34, and the fourth leading cause of death among individuals between the ages of 35 and 54.
- There were more than twice as many suicides (44,965) in the United States as there were homicides (19,362).
Suicidal tendencies tend to manifest themselves as a result of hopelessness and despair.
“Nobody loves me!”
“No one will miss my presence!”
“There is no way to get out of this situation…!”
I have overcome much in this life and hope to accomplish much more. Life is never as difficult as we imagine it to be.
There is an ayat or passage in the Quran which states roughly that “God does not burden a man beyond his capacity.” (Al-Baqarah 2:286). There is a Bible passage with a similar notion. “When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles (Psalm 34:17)”
Today, I have faith and believe that this is really true.
We are all God’s creations. What makes us think we have the right to end our existence before our time approaches.
I recall watching a scene from the Frank Capra movie, “It’s a Wonderful Life.” You are never really aware of the consequences of your unexpected demise. It is better to “Let go and let God…” We never know what God has planned for us.
And, behold, with every hardship comes ease…
verily, with every hardship comes ease! (Ash-Sharh 94:5,6)
“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength while loving someone deeply gives you courage…”
– Lao Tzu
I have listed contacts and websites below if you or if you know of anyone having trouble coping with life’s challenges.
If You are in Crisis: PLEASE SEEK HELP!!!
If you are in crisis, call the toll-free National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (NSPL) at 1-800-273-TALK (8255), available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. The service is available to anyone. All calls are confidential.
International Suicide Prevention Hotlines
Selected Thoughts on Suicide